Question: how do you assert your dominance over brattier subs in vr? I still haven't gotten to really erp in vr yet but I am experienced as a dom irl. Usually I will assert dominance over a brat physically such as a strong kiss or my dick in their mouth to shut them up, restraining their hands, striking them if they're into it. All things I don't really have the open for in vr. What are some other options I have when words won't cut it?
So asserting your dominance over somebody heavily comes into the person you're with. Some, as you said, can be very bratty subs who like to fight and be stubborn, and others only require a slight push and they fall over. Here are a few different ways to make them feel like they've lost the will to fight.
(Again all of these are person-by-person in how they will affect them)
1, Sometimes it's not just the words you use, but the way you use them. Sometimes a soft voice, or a strong forceful tone can make the difference. I find a lot of the time a light, teasing and sexy tone tend to illicit the strongest response because they like the attention, and they want that teasing to continue, so they tend to be more receptive to what you're telling them to do.
2. That leads into something that is hugely effective on a lot of people. Denial in different forms can instantly change the most stubborn lil brat into somebody begging to be given back what it is they want. And really it comes in different forms. Sometimes telling them that if their attitude doesn't change, then you guess you'll have to find somebody more willing (this is a very hit or miss type move, not recommended for the most part unless they're very stuck on you). Sometimes refusing them a form of attention they really like will have an immediate response, like you won't touch them in a certain way, or talk to them in a certain way, especially the touch can be effective because if you're currently being very teasy and messing with them, they often will want it to continue, and so they will bend and shift and fight, but often they'll cave in some way.
3. Physical touch and messing with phantom sense. So this can come in many forms, dancing your fingers over somebody while talking to them, pressing down your "weight" on them, they can't physically feel it, but it can make an impact. Choking (if the other party is receptive to it) can also be a way of pushing your influence on them while also taking away something they want and need, their breath (having them hold their breath while you do it obviously has the biggest impact). The varying degrees at which you wrap your fingers around their neck can go from slightly pushing them towards what you want, and hugely forcing your will on them (again, you want a consenting party).
4. Another thing kind of comes down to what "toys" they have available to them for you to have "power" over them. Some people have shock collars, or lovense toys, or gags, or restraints. All sorts of things can be used when playing with someone to give you a bit more physical connection to them without actually being able to touch their body. From a sort of "punishment" system of them talking back a certain number of times gets them gagged, or given a certain level of shock, to getting them into cuffs and making them work to be let out, to just having a toy in or on them and messing with how high its strength is to how bratty they're being. All of them though are fun and interactive for both parties, and generally people don't nearly use their toys as much as they should, so they're very willing to whip out something that hasn't gotten use in a while.
5. The last thing I'll suggest is sound in the form of something that really makes an impact on somebody. You mentioned slapping, but said you can't do it in vr, but often, if you slap somebody, and also slap say your thigh at the same time to give the effect that you've hit them, it can really change just how impactful your swinging your hand at them becomes. From simply waving your hand at them to feeling like you've given them a nice new red mark on their skin can be a big difference between a brat who remains bratty, to them giving in entirely to what you are pushing for.
Hopefully this helps, but in all I've said, always remember, keep things within a consenting environment. Once one party isn't comfortable with what's happening, you need to stop any form of attempt to "dom them" because it's going to very quickly make things uncomfortable for them, and that's not the goal of ERP, it's to have fun and both parties to enjoy themselves as much as possible.